Copywriting

More info

Social Media

More info

Marketing

More info

Workshops

More info

Friday Digital Roundup

The Friday Digital Roundup is a witty take on the weird world of the internet. With fun stories from around the globe, it’s the only email newsletter you’ll actually read and enjoy!

We do love writing it, but clearly not as much as people like receiving it - just look at the response we got when a technical hitch meant it wasn’t sent out on time!

David Morphew @DavidMorphew

I didn't receive the Roundup. The Roundup comes on Friday. Therefore it can't be Friday.

Geraldine Jones @EWC_wordsmith

No digital round-up this week?! My breakfast just wasn't the same without it :(

Helen Taylor @HelenTPermCos

It's the only way to start your weekend and end the week! Miss it, miss out!

Spaghetti Blog

Tuesday 25th July 2017

10 Incredibly Annoying Facebook Actions That I Would Ban if I Could

Tue 23rd Aug 2016
By Todd
Facebook, Social Media

Ahh, Facebook, Facebook. You’re the world’s largest social media network.

You’re still driven by nosey neighbours, images, videos and events.

You’re certainly a force to be reckoned with and despite rumours of teens leaving in droves, friends vowing to use it less, and the rise of Snapchat and other new guys on the block – you’re still on top.

I have to admire you, Facebook. And your head honcho, Zuckerberg. You’ve kept us engaged and addicted for over 10 years! Now in your 12th year, you’re more popular than ever.

But… I have some real issues with you, Facebook… some REALLY ANNOYING issues with you actually.

Often I just look at my timeline and sink my head into my hands. I want to close the laptop, delete the app, or worse – update my status and tell everyone I’m leaving you (we’ve all been there).

So I’m having a rant about you. #SorryNotSorry. Here goes:

 

Facebook has a really great way of showing up the fools amongst us and brings out the worst in many.

Facebook’s timeline is like a stream of stupidity at times and many times I’ve just wanted to update my status in some sort of subliminal, vague update – but that’s one of the things I hate about it!

So, because I feel it’s more scientific (honestly, I’ve researched it and everything), I’m going to rant here instead… and then post it on Facebook in the hope they see the error of their ways. If you happen to be mates with Zuckerberg, let him know, yeah?

 

 

10 Incredibly Annoying Facebook Actions That I Would Ban if I Could

Mass Tagging

 

Right. Let’s kick off with 2016’s newest social media spam – tagging. Years ago when you were tagged in a post with some other people you were usually sat across from them in a bar and were having a great time.

Now? Oh no… now it’s all changed. Now we’re tagged with 67 others in a post which bears little relevance to you right now and is an attempt to market something or gain some interest in a craft fair or some shit.

STOP IT! I have the timeline review on and I don’t accept these posts to my timeline… and I even remove the tag, too!

 

The problem: I have more notifications to deal with. I have more pointless red symbols on my iPhone. I’m added into random conversation I have no real interest in and when someone else tagged in it shares it – it starts all over again!

Solution: Only tag people who are really with you or are actively involved in the status you’re talking about.

 

Moaning

 

Yes, I know I’m moaning here – but it’s scientific, ok?! I’m talking about these guys:

“OMG what a day….” *Dramatic pauses and lack of information as they await sympathy. Really rock solid social media right there.

“Some people really need to grow up” *Fails to tell us anymore in the hope we inbox them.

“Why do I have all the bad luck?” (Because you spend more time updating Facebook than you do improving your life? Just a hunch.)

“It’s days like today that I’m glad I have my friend Sarah” … Erm OK. Thanks for that. Are you after more friends like her? Or is this a public display of your love for her? That’s cute.

Honestly… just stop. Social media is a great place to chat and connect and I’ll be honest here – I used to vague post like this. Did it work? No. It’s far better to pick up the phone or inbox someone who gives a crap rather than spreading your woes in the timeline.

 

Problem: You look like a sad, miserable needy moaner.

Solution: Inbox your bestie and keep this shit off our timelines.

 

Homer-Simpson-Screaming

Game requests

 

I love the occasional good game on the Xbox. Yes, I have the odd few games on my iPhone and I’ve played a few on Facebook in the past too.

But it’s just not acceptable to keep asking me to help you level-up by joining you on a game I don’t have.

It’s not OK to send me game requests when we’ve not even spoken on Facebook for three years.

It’s not cool to play games all day on Facebook… especially if you’re in business. There. I said it. If you’re in business and you play Facebook games you’re not going to seem very committed. Relaxing is good; wasting time isn’t.

 

Problem: Games are traditionally for kids and putting it all over Facebook makes me think you need to grow up or at least find something more productive to do with your time.

Solution: Start poking people. Yup – that’s actually better than sending game requests. It’s THAT bad!

 

Copy and pasting updates

 

Most people won’t copy this onto their profile. Most will just skim past it. But I wanted to spam up your timeline anyway… as I’m not like most people.

Better safe than sorry. Facebook are taking all our data, our children, our money, your grandparents and if you don’t copy and paste this message it’ll happen to you. No wait; they’re going to start charging us for using Facebook. No wait; Facebook will cure cancer if you copy and paste this message.

SHUT UP!

Look. Stop copying and pasting junk updates because someone tagged you in another one. You won’t get seven years’ bad luck, scurvy or eternal acne! It’s a 21st Century chain letter and it’s making you look dumb.

Just scroll past them, untag yourself and pretend you never saw it. If you want to change the world, volunteer for a charity and post a selfie doing it or something.

 

Problem: You look as foolish as all the others. We’ve seen some of our other friends post it already and we know you’re now as gullible as them.

Solution: Change the world, join the army, donate, start a charity, write a letter to your local MP. Just stop copying and pasting pointless updates.

 

… Oh and while I’m on this: Facebook won’t steal all your information so you don’t need to post a pointless update to stop them. Here’s the deal – if it’s on Facebook, Facebook own it already! Yes, all your photos and everything. They can do whatever they want with it. If you’re not paying for it, you ARE the product.

 

tumblr_inline_n0ea3lrPjr1rhignx

 

Getting hacked

 

Stop being stupid with your data. Here’s the deal. To get hacked on Facebook you mostly have to sign into something with your profile. When a post says “Allow XXX to post on your behalf” be very careful about accepting it unless you really want that to happen.

No, it’s not going to get your bank details (although if you have a card attached it might) but it will make you look really lapse with your security and if you’re an upstanding member of the community or a business person you’re going to look rather foolish!

So next time you want to view that video (yes that rubbish click bait video which you know will disappoint you anyway) and you have to log in to see it… just walk away and have a little think about what you just tried to watch. OK?

 

Problem: Getting hacked is a pain in the arse and makes you look very silly.

Solution: Stop clicking, start thinking! Most hacking is avoidable and you’re the common denominator in all this.

 

Linking from your Twitter

 

Twitter is great. Unlimited updates all day like a newsfeed of drivel in 140 characters or less. I love Twitter, but most of it is total crap. If I want that, I go to Twitter, and I do all the time.

But then someone links their Twitter feed with their Facebook timeline and every update posts to Facebook including a retweet of something full of hashtags. Oh. My. God! Stop this madness!

Post updates of relevance to your friends. Update your every move on Twitter. That’s how it works. I don’t make the rules; I just try to educate in them. They’re different platforms.

 

Problem: Your non-Twitter friends don’t know what you’re on about. Your Facebook becomes too busy and you risk losing people to the constant drivel.

Solution: Click here and turn it off. You’re welcome.

 

Head in hands

 

Adding me to groups I have no interest in

 

Groups on Facebook are really useful and with the constant noise, they can really add some value ensuring I get to see the updates. BUT. Please stop adding people to your group like some ladder-liking-desperate-building attempt at Facebook domination.

If I want to join your group, I will. If you add me I’ll presume you’re in need of more people and presume it’s crap. By all means encourage folk to invite their friends but mass adding (including adding me back in when I removed myself!) is totally spammy!

 

Problem: Facebook is busy. Don’t add more noise to people’s timelines without their agreement.

Solution: Ask the people in the group to invite people who would really like to be a part of what you’re building. Tell them why they should join.

 

Inviting me to like your business page right after we become friends

 

This really gets my goat. I don’t why, but I like to wait a little bit, like more than five minutes, before I try to get someone I met on social to do something. It’s a bit like being sent a PDF in an automated LinkedIn message or an auto DM on Twitter asking me to download something or other.

Stop being so straight to the point and take an interest in me first. Especially on Facebook. I might not be interested in your Page. Liking it really doesn’t help you or your Page. I’ll become a silent like… another silent like… another person who doesn’t care for what you post.

 

Problem: Upfront pushy activity makes you look sad and desperate for likes. It’s the worst possible first interaction too.

Solution: get to know your contacts first and give it some time before you start asking them to do stuff. Life’s a long game!

 

Jim Carey typing gif

 

Sharing 428 photos of your newborn baby

 

Right. Here’s the deal. All babies look the same. OK. When you share 428 photos over two weeks you’re merely sharing the same photos as I’ve seen them already… from other people.

You care, and I’m super pleased your baby can now look cute with a biscuit, a teddy, a TV, a trolley, in Tesco, in your arms, your parent’s arms, the pub, the car seat, eating another biscuit, visiting grandmas (that’s twice this week), and aww so cute in the tiny little new hat.

Look. You care, and of course I care… just not 428 times or as much as you do.

 

Problem: You’re a newborn baby bore and because it’s amazing what you did no one is brave enough to tell you to stop posting. Unless you’d print every single one of those photos – just keep them for yourself, OK? Share the best.

Solution: Just look at your baby and accept how amazing and unique they are… without the need for likes and comments on a social media platform to back it up.

 

Stop posting one line updates to lure me in for chain updates

 

“No toilet paper? Goodbye socks!”

Seriously, the first time I saw that it was posted by a mate from a warehouse job and I actually lol’d! But then I got an inbox message (copy and pasted) telling me I had to then choose an status update from a list and then post that and then whoever liked or commented on it had to then do the same.

Piss off! No. No I won’t do that. Social media is great for connections and community. All that does is make a joke of a very powerful platform. I won’t do what you tell me to do and I won’t be copying and pasting anything.

Be you. Be unique and use social media as a tool for communication not to please some jerk who came up with another copy and paste chain letter for social.

The only slight exception to this is when it’s something like the ice bucket challenge or the 22 push up challenge which is to raise awareness of important charities. If it’s a bit difficult or is doing something good for the world, then fair enough, I say!

 

Problem: You’re a sheep.

Solution: Don’t be a sheep, ignore the inbox message to copy and paste anything and move along…

 

Social Media is busy enough

 

Social media is busy enough as it is… give it a rest!

 

I love you Facebook and I spend way too much time with you. I bet I do things that annoy people with you at times but at least they’re all my own inventions and have an actual message behind them.

I come to you Facebook to be updated and entertained; not spammed, tricked or annoyed by your users’ stupidity because they tried to watch some dirty porn movie starring Kim Kardashian and were so desperate they gave away all their log in details (and dignity!).

Facebook you’re 12 years old and constantly upgrading to make sure I don’t get annoyed, bored and move on to another love. If I was in charge of you, I would ban all these things.

I’m sorry, I still you though. x

 

What would you ban on Facebook to make it better for you?

Let me know now in the comment what parts of Facebook really get your goat! Let’s rant together…

 


Tags associated with this article

Facebook Social Media

Todd

Enjoyed This Post? Subscribe to our blog list now and you'll get our weekly blog right in your inbox. Never miss a tip or trick again. SUBSCRIBE NOW!

19 comments on this article

  • Caroline Edwards at 15:53pm on August 23rd 2016

    Definitely get rid of the countless “look at this sad picture – how many Amens” or similar. Annoys the hell out of me – it’s so pointless.

    Then there’s the photos of food. I mean, why???? Unless it’s from “We want plates” page because then it’s hilarious.

    1. Todd at 15:54pm on August 23rd 2016

      I love a bit of food porn though… #NoFilter 😉

  • Emma at 15:56pm on August 23rd 2016

    All of the above, Todd!

    I use FB both in my personal life and work life and with my personal page, I’m verging on the “saying goodbye forever”. There’s some absolute gems on it but an awful lot of rubbish too. I find Twitter a much better place for me personally, and few of my FB friends feature on my Twitter timeline – not sure what that says about me..!! Maybe I should debate with myself via a blog post…

    Work-wise on FB, we have a (relatively) small and dedicated following who are genuinely interested in what we have to say and they are a joy to respond to – I only wish I had more time to dedicate to the platform.

    1. Todd at 16:00pm on August 23rd 2016

      The thing is, even thought Facebook is annoying it still keeps us coming back for more – clever!

      As for dedicating time to it. If Twitter works then power to your fingertips. Facebook personal works for me as I have all my networking contacts on there so it’s a great follow up machine. Business Pages are really only an ad tool now with reach down to 2% of your audience without money being spent. But hey… we teach the right and wrong way.

  • Helen at 16:45pm on August 23rd 2016

    I apologise profusely for sending the message about the status update thing. (Although I do like sheep strangely enough). Right now I’d like to see less of other people’s holiday photos because I’m jealous and probably less cute or funny cats because they cause me to waste too much time.
    What’s really stressing me on facebook and twitter however is posts telling me I really need to do this or read that from loads of “experts” I haven’t met and never interacted with. I’m feeling complete overwhelm and can’t catch up with myself let alone find time to read all this stuff to see if it’s relevant or useful.
    At least I’ve met you and know/trust that your posts are going to be a help. So I save them for when I’ve got time…probably Christmas.

    1. Todd at 16:58pm on August 23rd 2016

      Overload is a really big problem on Facebook. On the top right corner of any post you can click and ‘hide posts like this’ that should stem the flow of constant drivel from ‘experts’.

  • Neil Porter at 17:01pm on August 23rd 2016

    Epic rant Todd and I love it…easily my biggest annoyance off that list is the “Moaning”
    Desperate attention seeking statuses…and if you absolutely have to share a moan, just feckin share it. Cut the crap and come out with it….instead of making people ask you what the problem is.

    I have one more I need to add…

    All you couples out there…while I admire how much in love you are and genuinely wish everyone a long and full lifetime of happiness together
    will you PLEASE…for the love of God, stop conversing with each other on your Facebook timelines. The odd comment on each others posts is fine.
    Declaring how much you love your partner on your timelines, or what you are having for dinner…or in fact anything else at all in truth, just seems weird to me…. Why not just put the device down & tell your beloved yourself, in a private message, with a love letter, a bunch of flowers, a romantic weekend away…whatever… because it really is like the baby thing – yes of course we are delighted you’ve found love, it just doesn’t need to appear in our timelines as we don’t care as much as you do!

    ahhhh that feels better :-)

  • June Irani at 18:04pm on August 23rd 2016

    Defo MOANING, I’ve un followed quite a few of late and usually the same story in their life
    Copy & Paste, don’t do any of those
    Games, no I don’t play games, don’t invite me

    Good rant by you

    1. Todd at 18:17pm on August 23rd 2016

      We’re on the same page, June :)

  • Vikie Shanks at 9:08am on August 25th 2016

    Wonderful post Todd and with you every inch of the way on all of those! Facebook would be so much better without all the crap…..x

    1. Todd at 11:32am on August 25th 2016

      Haha… clear the crap! Have you got one to add? What’s your pet hate?

  • Claire at 10:56am on August 25th 2016

    Definatly trout faced, enhanced selfies that are only on to see how many likes they can get for how beautiful they are. I see beautiful women on my feed daily doing this and it just look desperate and actually make you more ugly. Selfies are ok to show where you are and noone to take your pics but not just a head shot againt a plain background…… Boring

    1. Todd at 11:33am on August 25th 2016

      DUCK FACE!!! (Totally agree). Take a photo properly and get your hand off your hip, too!

  • Mandie Holgate at 12:47pm on August 26th 2016

    I thought I was in love with my hubby, however returning from nearly 4 weeks of social media free holiday (yes my business was fully automated and delivered leads without falling fail to these major faux pas’s…hopefully.) and I’ve come back to a ton of this drivel as listed above and so you may be just level pegging him! Such a great a post. I tell people if you wouldn’t say it to me in the street when we first meet or at a party then it’s properly not okay on social media after connecting for the first time. Glad I found your fab content! Thank you for sharing.

    1. Todd at 12:55pm on August 26th 2016

      Hahaha… i LOVE this comment. Welcome back and so sorry about the drivel on your timeline! Share this, tell them – tell EVERYONE!

  • Di Fisher at 10:45am on September 3rd 2016

    In addition to all you mention, here are a couple more…
    1. Constant prompting to boost a post
    2. No way to remove a group once the original creator has removed themselves
    3. No way to remove ‘this page is liked by…’ when they are unwelcome competitors!
    Keep up the intelligent ranting analysis Todd!

    1. Todd at 18:06pm on September 3rd 2016

      Awesome additions. What did you mean by ‘this page is liked by’? Do you mean sponsored posts? You can click the top right and stop those ads from that company annoying you.

  • Alison Mead at 13:03pm on March 26th 2017

    It’s not just the one line cryptic moaning posts, but also the ones who do constant isn’t life perfect posts. Nobodies life is that perfect. Just be normal! I’ve definitely tried to not rush to post on fb as often as I used to. So much so that I had a serial liker of my posts pm me to check I was ok! I’d just decided to not always take daft selfies when I’m out. I still get daft once in a while but that’s ok isn’t it.

    Oh, and I do love my dog, so there are a lot of posts of her. That’s ok though isn’t it? *lol*

    1. Todd at 17:27pm on March 27th 2017

      Dogs posts… totally ok! 😉

Post a comment

We'd love to know what you think - please leave a comment!

Beginner’s Guide To Twitter

The Ultimate Beginner’s Guide To Twitter‘ is a step-by-step guide to setting up and running a successful Twitter account.

No jargon, no BS, just simple to understand explanations and tricks on making Twitter work for you.

This is a totally FREE 30 page guide and available to download now!

cover-lead-page-ultimatetwitter

This guide is perfect for business owners who need to get to grips with Twitter.

Includes a full step-by-step guide to creating a Twitter account, understanding hashtags, lists, mentions, retweets, favourites and much much more…

Download Now